More than just extra time: The meaningful impact of accommodations on your child's learning differences.

This post was authored by Kate Hardiman, Educational and Developmental Psychologist, BA (Psych)(Hons), MPsych (Ed & Dev). The content used AI-assistance for editing, readability, and automation of external links.

Very early in my own training to become a psychologist, I learned a fundamental truth: all behaviour is communication. It's a simple, but meaningful phrase. Thinkers like Stuart Shanker with his work on stress and self-regulation, and Dr Ross Greene with his powerful insight that "kids do well if they can," echo this very idea. At the heart of these perspectives is a crucial point: if a child is thinking, feeling, or acting in a way that sends a message like, "I don't like school," there's almost certainly a valid reason for why a part of them feels or thinks that way.

Our children’s brains are still developing, still making sense of a complex world. They need to borrow or share our minds to truly clarify what that reason is. It’s not always obvious, and it’s rarely as simple as they don't want to do something. accommodations on your child's learning differences

Creating Space for Connection

When you’re ready to open up a conversation about school, timing is everything. Try to avoid the heat of the moment – not when you're rushing to get out the door, or right after a difficult morning. Find a calm, relaxed time. Sometimes, getting outside for a walk, or simply engaging in a quiet activity together, can create a more open space. The key is to make it about understanding, not about fixing or interrogating.

You might start with an observation, something like:

• "Hey, I've noticed it's been a bit hard for you to get out of bed lately on school days."

• "I've seen you've been hanging out in your room more on Sunday nights before the school week."

• "It feels like things have been a bit tense around school stuff lately."

The point here is to avoid making it about their behaviour directly, and certainly not a question-and-answer drill. It might take a few conversations to get there. If they don't bite the first time, you could gently say, "Well, I want to try to understand because I don't think I've been getting it. I really want to talk about this." And then, set a specific time to revisit it. This shows your commitment and gives them time to prepare.

Partnering with the School

Gathering information from the school can be incredibly insightful. Teachers spend so much time with our children, and their observations can offer crucial pieces of the puzzle. What are they noticing and seeing? Some questions you could ask might be:

• "What does the day look like in the classroom?"

• "Are there specific times or subjects where you notice [child's name] struggles or thrives?"

• "What are their interactions with peers and teachers like?"

• "Have you noticed any changes in their energy levels or mood throughout the day?"

Formally, schools often have Individual Education Plans (IEPs) in place for accommodations on your child's learning differences. While every school has its own approach, these documents generally follow a similar format. An IEP is a collaborative space where goals are set based on a student's needs and strengths, and strategies are outlined to support those goals. It's a chance for everyone – teachers, parents, and any allied health providers – to meet regularly, discuss progress, and plan the next steps. When you put a strategy in place, give it a real chance to work. Often, accommodations are put in place, but a trial for a short amount of time isn't enough for new routines to stick or for a child to truly adapt. And remember, keep it simple. If a plan is complicated for the adults to implement, it will be tenfold more confusing and overwhelming for the child.

If you find you need more individualised answers or specific support strategies for school, reaching out to professionals can be incredibly helpful. A speech pathologist, a special education tutor, or a psychologist can offer tailored advice and support, helping to bridge the gap between what's happening and how best to help your child.